Stupid Journal
by Average Nerd 3456
Summary: Dear Diary, I hate everyone, Hux is the biggest pain in my dark side, I have anger issues, I have a soft spot for the scavenger girl my uncle had been training, my half brother wants to bond with me, and I just want to worship my grandfather. Is that too hard to freaking ask? Kylo Ren whines about his life via a journal.
1. Entry 1: I Hate All of You

Dear Diary,

Screw everything! The only reason why I'm stuck writing in this stupid-ass thing is because Mr. "Oh, I'm better than you because the Supreme Leader loves me more", or as he prefers, General Hux, was tired of my constant whining about my parents.

He says I need to "stop acting like such a child since I'm making the First Order look bad and writing in a journal would get my frustrations out". Fucking idiot…

You know what the worse thing was? Phasma, my half-brother who I recently found out existed, DJ (who happened to be a new member after betraying the Rebellion, suddenly, he's not so much of an idiot as I thought originally), and everyone else in this stupid organization agreed.

Whoever is reading this journal: one, why the hell are you even reading this? Two, I wish I could stop writing, but Hux will be on my ass.

Did I mention that Rey is up for this stupid plan too?

I can't say no to those beautiful eyes, that wonderful hair…damn it, I'm going off track.

Ugh, everything sucks and I want to just take my lightsaber and destroy this thing in my grandfather's name, but I've got "vent" like all the fucks I consider my followers say I should do.

There's nothing I would love to do, but shove this book up Hux's ass and scream at him. Well, look at that, I feel a little better letting that out.


	2. Entry 2: My Stupid Effing Brother

Dear Diary,

DJ took me out for some "brotherly bonding" in Naboo, where my grandmother used to live. Oh great, we're going to be stuck with people dressed in brightly colored outfits and the occasional annoying fish person…

Now, all my respect for DJ is somewhat down the crapper. You know what? Screw him and screw dad for dating his mom! Force damn it! Everyone's going to make fun of us!

What? Just because I'm so serious doesn't mean I can't be sad every once in a while! I'm not THAT emotionless. All the black I wear masks the pain in my soul!

Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I don't know if I can respect DJ for taking me to this stupid place. It's not Tattooine, which is a sandy hellhole. I HATE sand, it's super irritating and I get it in the wrong places.

The only upside to it was that he took me to have my all-time favorite thing (no, it's not Rey or my grandfather): Roasted Porg.

I know you're all like "Kylo, I'm severely disappointed in you for not wanting to spend time with your brother", but shut the hell up, alright?! You sound like my damn parents!

Bye, I guess.


	3. Entry 3: Kill Me

Dear Diary,

Four words: I want to die.

I cannot BELIEVE she did this to me! Rey made me put on these stupid Jedi clothes. As much as I wanted to hate her for doing this, I can't. Ugh, the things I do for love…

One day, the person who decided to design this outfit was going to burn in whatever fucking eternal hellfire that my dad and uncle are probably in where he DESERVES.

Rey, on the other hand, looked adorable with her three buns and beige outfit…man, I wonder how she would look in mom's metal bikini. Kylo, you disgusting pervert! Damn you!

So, anyways, she took me out to Coruscant to eat at Dex's Diner. I had a sandwich and for dessert, I had a berry cake. FUCK YOU, REY! I WANTED THAT SIX LAYER CAKE, NOT THIS BRIGHT PURPLE OR PINK ABOMBINATION!

I mean, thank you, Rey. I love you lots…

At least it's FINALLY done. I hope that grandfather has it be a good day tomorrow. Oh force, what if I jinx myself?

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!


	4. Entry 4: Life Day Sucks

Dear Diary,

Happy Life Day, I guess…anyways, this fucking sucks! I'm cold, tired, pissed off, and I'm visiting mom with Rey and DJ. Surprisingly, the food doesn't suck nerfherder balls.

The problem is the LARGE FREAKING AMOUNT OF IT! I've had lobster bisellian, rankweed, roasted porg, sushi, deep fried gorg, sardine fritter, nerf stew, even MORE stew, and bread, bread, and MORE bread.

Great, now my diet to become swole and shredded is ruined… Thanks a lot, mom, you bitch!

Oh, I forgot to mention that the flight sucked. Rey took dad's old ship and dragged me and DJ for the ride.

"Isn't it great?" she asked us.

I faked a smile while screaming internally. I want to puke just sitting here and looking at the pictures of dad, Uncle Luke, and grandmother.

At least, there was a lot of pictures of grandfather, so at least there was SOMETHING to prevent me from stabbing myself with my lightsaber.

My FUCKING BITCH OF A MOTHER had the guts to call me Ben and dote over me like I was some stupid little kid while Rey and DJ laughed at me. I hate everyone.

I also experienced the "joy" of snow. Guess what? It SUCKS! It was like sand and it deserves to die in a horrific fire.

Rey was like a little kid in the snow, dancing around and getting the snow stuck in her hair. It was really cute…I mean, it was too damn cold for me to focus! I want to throw a lightsaber in her adorable face!


End file.
